Darth Vader Rocks The Darkside Shirt

Darth Vader With Guitar Shirt

Rock The Darkside Shirt – Click Image

Not many people are truly familiar with what went on at the very core of the Death Star. Although most know of it’s very large power reactor, once the Death Star’s capacitors were fully charged, the reactor would be shut down and moved for maintenance, the core would then be used as a place for social gatherings.

The Death Star’s gravity was created with both a spinning, war ready crust, and the central core which spins in the same direction but quicker. The inside walls of the core had 360 degree omnispherical seating installed for up to 32,000 spectators, each held in their seat with the gravity of the core’s rotation. At the very center of it all, Darth Vader would often float weightlessly in front of a massive mesmerized audience, playing awesome mystical sounding evil hard rock tunes through his sith crystal powered axe guitar.

Darth Vader Rock The Darkside Shirt

Making A Difference In The Word – Suicidal Tendencies – Institutionalized Video and Lyrics

Sometimes due to something someone says, or something I read somewhere, a distant memory of me sitting in a government office applying for an educational grant pops into my head. Part of the necessary criteria to receive the grant money was for me to pass a psychological evaluation, which I did end up passing, thankfully, though one of my responses to the scripted verbal questioning did give my interviewer pause. He asked me “Do you think you can change the world ?”

I replied “No”

I could tell this was bothersome to him, and a moment later he said “Hmmm”

“What ?” I asked

He said “That is not the correct answer, you are supposed to feel that You can change the world.”

I thought about it a bit, and had a look at what I could see of him as I did it, sitting in this non-nondescript white walled concrete office on the second floor on the ten story building, with a standard government desk, surrounded by thousands of other similar offices, each with their own desk and similarly dressed people with similar haircuts sitting behind them, all arriving at the same time each day, and going home at the same time as well. We were surrounded by many similar buildings, in a little town, that is not even listed on a map of the country, let alone the world, and I felt that he also could not change the world.

“Really ?” I asked.

He replied “Yes, you are supposed to feel you can change the world.”

Ostrich With Its Head In The Sand

Ignoring Reality

I didn’t know exactly what to say to him, my thoughts were all over the place, and I felt it was ludicrous to think you could “change the world”, obviously his paper said I was a lunatic for thinking I couldn’t. I guess one would also have to define what you mean by changing it, with every breath I was changing the atmosphere just a little bit from oxygen with carbon dioxide, but real lasting change was pretty much impossible, even if you somehow managed to change the entire world for a day, it would not last for a millennium, and if somehow it could last that long, would it last a few googolplex?

So I replied simply with a non questioning, and hopefully dismissive, “Huh.”

He asked me why I thought I couldn’t change the world, and I explained to him that I used to think I could make a difference, but a few years before when I visited India, I had tried to help some of the poor, hungry people around me by quietly giving my own money and food to them. People saw this, and a crowd formed around me in seconds, it was like a swarm, their hands were all around me, the people that I had given a handout to already, would not leave the crowd. Some people started pushing and they were all asking for money. With no path for me to walk out, I was forced to push my way out, and then had to run to get away from them all.  I think I came to the conclusion as I ran down the road, past a seemingly never ending ocean of poor people, in a country that exports enormous amounts of food, even though it’s own people starve, that I could not make any real difference to India, let alone the world.

“Huh.” He said.

For some reason now, whenever I think of anyone being psychologically evaluated by others, I think of the following song. If you really listen to the lyrics, way down deep, there is some wisdom in there. If you aren’t into old school punk, you can just read the lyrics, but it just isn’t the same without the shouting in my opinion.

All he wanted was a Pepsi.

Enjoy !

Suicidal Tendencies – “Institutionalized” Lyrics

 

Sometimes I try to do things, and it just don’t turn out the way I wanted to
and I get real frustrated, it’s like, I take my time and I try real hard, but
no matter what I do and no matter what I try it never works out, it’s like I
concentrate on it real hard, but it never works out, it’s like I need some
time to figure these things out, but there’s always someone there going:
- Hey Mike, you know, we been noticing you’ve been having alot of problems
lately, you know, and like maybe you should talk about it, you’d feel alot
better.
And I go:
- No, it’s ok, I now have some problems, I’ll figure it out myself, just
leave me alone I’ll figure it out.
And they go:
- Why don’t you talk about it, you’ll feel alot better?
And I go:
- No, I don’t want to, just leave me alone, I’ll figure it out myself!
And they keep on bugging me and it builds up inside, it builds up inside…

So you’re gonna be institutionalized
You’ll come out brainwashed with bloodshot eyes
You won’t have any say
They’ll brainwash you until you see their way

I’m not crazy – institutionalized
You’re the one who’s crazy – institutionalized
You’re driving me crazy – institutionalized

They stuck me in an institution
Said it was the only solution
To give me the needed professional help
To protect me from the enemy, myself

I was sitting in my room, and I was like staring at the walls thinking about
everything but then again I was thinking about nothing, and then my mom came
in and I didn’t notice she was there and she calls my name and I didn’t hear
her and then she started screaming:
- Mike, Mike!
And I go:
- What, what’s the matter?
She goes:
- What’s the matter with you?
I say:
- Nothing mom.
She goes:
- Don’t tell me nothing, you’re on drugs!
I go:
- No mom, I’m not on drugs, I’m ok, I’m just thinking, you know, why don’t
you get me a Pepsi?
She goes:
- No, you’re on drugs, you’re crazy, normal people won’t be acting that way!
I go:
- Mom, I’m all right, I’m just thinking, you know, so why don’t you, like
give me a Pepsi?
And she goes:
- No, you’re crazy!
All I wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi, and she wouldn’t give it to me,
just one Pepsi.

They give you a white shirt with long sleeves
Tied around you’re back, you’re treated like thieves
Drug you up because they’re lazy
It’s too much work to help a crazy

I’m not crazy – institutionalized
You’re the one who’s crazy – institutionalized
You’re driving me crazy – institutionalized

They stuck me in an institution
Said it was the only solution
To give me the needed professional help
To protect me from the enemy, myself

I was sitting in my room and my mom and my dad came in and they pulled up a
chair and they sat down, they go:
- Mike, we need to talk to you.
And I said:
- Okay, what’s the matter?
They go:
- Well me and your mom, we been noticing lately you’ve been having alot of
problems, and you haven’t been acting like yourself, and we’re afraid that
you’re going to hurt somebody, and we’re afraid that you’re gonna hurt
yourself, so we decided that it would be in your best interest if we put
you somewhere where you could get the help that you need…
And I said:
- Wait, what are we talking about?! We decided?! My best interest?! How can
you know, how can you say what my best interest is? What are you trying to
say? I’m crazy? When I went to your schools, I went to your churches, I
went to your institutional learning facilities. So how can you say that I’m
crazy?

They say they’re gonna fix my brain
Alleviate my suffering and my pain
But by the time they fix my head
Mentally I’ll be dead

I’m not crazy – institutionalized
You’re the one who’s crazy – institutionalized
You’re driving me crazy – institutionalized

They stuck me in an institution
Said it was the only solution
To give me the needed professional help
To protect me from the enemy, myself

It doesn’t matter, i’m trying to get hit by a car anyway.

Satan Gave Me A Taco – Beck – Video and Lyrics

If you ever run into Satan, it is very important that you do not take anything from him.

Just look what happened to Beck.

Satan Gave Me A Taco – Lyrics


Satan gave me a taco and it made me really sick
The chicken was all raw and the grease was mighty thick
The rice was all rancid and the beans were so hard
I was gettin’ kinda dizzy eatin’ all the lard
There was aphids on the lettuce an’ I ate every one
An’ after I was done the salsa melted off my tongue
Pieces of tortilla got stuck in my throat
An’ the stains on my clothes burned a hole through my coat
My stomach was a-tremblin’ and I broke out in a rash
I was so dry and thirsty and I didn’t have no cash
So I went and found a hose, tore off all my clothes
Turned on the water and it shot right up my nose
Some old lady came along and she thought I was a freak
So she beat me with a handbag till I could hardly speak
I was lying there naked, my body badly bruised
In a pool of my own blood, unconscious and confused
Well, the cops came and got me and threw me in their van
And I woke up on the ceiling and I couldn’t find my hand
They took me to the judge, his eyes a-glowin’ red
The courtroom was filled with witches and the dead
Well, the sheriff was a hellhound with fangs and claws
The prisoners were tied up and chained to the walls
The air was gettin’ thick; the smoke was gettin’ thicker
The judge read the verdict: said, “Cut off his head!”
Well, they placed me on the altar, and they raised up the axe
My head was about to explode when I noticed the Marshall stacks
I noticed all the smoke machines, cameras and the lights
Some guy with a microphone, runnin’ around dancin’ in tights
And I noticed the crew and the band playin’ down below
And I realized I was in a rock videoSo I went and joined the band and I went out on tour
And I smoked a lot of heroin and I passed out in manure
I made out with the groupies, started fires backstage
I made a lot of money and I gave it all away
Well, the band got killed, so I started a solo career
And I won all the awards and I drank all the beer
I opened up a taco stand just to smell the smell
Cookin’ with the devil; frying down in hell

(spoken)
Today’s ah-August 4, 1982; i’m really bored
There was some dead animals we played with
There was a weed whacker, we stole two of them
A cop car was on fire
My friend scott, he was running and he slipped on a twinky
And his nose was covered with blood
Security helicopter shot a spotlight
Somebody pulled their pants down

I Never Reached Superman

A long time ago, when I was six, I remember fondly walking outside the theatre after seeing the Superman Movie for the first time. I was not just simply walking however, but striding, and jumping. I was convinced that if I could just get it all right, I too would eventually be able to fly.

As many women grow up with the ideals of Barbie in their heads, the pretty blond with the attractive figure, closets full of clothing, cute dog, handsome boyfriend, a house, and the corvette. I grew up with thoughts of being Superman, the honest good looking guy every girl wanted, using his superhuman abilities such as super strength, laser beam eyes, super breath, and virtual indestructibility, to flight the bad guys, and save the world.

That really is a lot to live up to.

Superman Movie Poster 1978

Superman Movie Poster 1978

I am sitting here now thinking of all the things I did to try and be a bit like Superman, the physical training I have put myself through, and the risks I have taken. I am not sure why I did it, if it was for the adrenaline or to prove something to myself, but I did it just the same.

When I was young, I used to like to jump off of things, each time I tried to jump from just a little bit higher than the last time. I would sometimes jump off things while riding other objects such as my bike, skis or skateboard, all in the attempt to just see if I could do it, and feel what it would be like to fly just a little bit. I have still not grown out of this really, just last week, I jumped off the roof of a sixty storey tower on a zip line, it was pretty cool, but Superman would have just leaped over the building in a single bound.

If you want to be a superhero, of course you need to learn to fight. At the age of ten I started to study Karate. I had to postpone my studies at thirteen for a couple of years, as I broke my arm quite badly while testing to see if I was indestructible, I am not. I later continued studying various martial arts formally for about eighteen years. I fought a few times, I even managed to defeat the number four ranked fighter on the Canadian kickboxing team several times. I never fought any higher ranked fighters. I found I did not like hurting people, and didn’t really like getting hurt either.  If  Superman kick boxed,  he would be number one, I don’t think he minds the pain so much, but I know he doesn’t like hurting people either.

I did a fair bit of mountain and rock climbing in my life, but for some reason volcanoes were always the most interesting to me, there is just something about their sheer awesome lava spewing power that I found irresistible, and once you get to the top, you not only get a view, but you also get to look in to their centre. One of the most memorable volcanic experiences I had was in the northern Philippines, after climbing the volcano, my friend and I then climbed for hours through the lava tubes inside it, right into it’s underground river systems. There is nothing quite like squeezing through small limestone holes and dropping ten meters or so through pure darkness into pools of fresh drinking water. Another memorable volcanic occasion was when I had a semi active volcano I was standing on in Indonesia erupt right under my feet, thankfully I survived. I had this picture taken of me, standing right over its billowing molten heart less than a minute before it erupted. I ran away in fear  from the top of the volcano as it exploded, I am pretty sure I freaked out a little bit also. Superman would not have freaked out or ran, he would have kicked that volcano’s ass.

Scott Vs The Volcano - Seconds Before An Eruption

Scott Vs The Volcano - Moments Before An Eruption

 

Large waves are another force I have felt a powerful attraction to. I have learned to swim and surf in some huge waves over the years. One particularly wavy January day in southern India, I chose to ignore the warning siren of the concerned lifeguards in the lighthouse on the point, and the people on the loudspeakers warning us of a dangerous wave coming into the bay. I had seen their “dangerous” waves before, and felt I could handle them. Larger waves break further out, so as everyone else was busy getting out of the water, I swam out into deeper water to get ready to body surf this wave.  After a moment, I found as I looked out past the fairly common five meter wave in front of me, I was able to see a much larger wave towering over that one, I would guess it was seven meters high or so.  Realizing it was breaking too far out for me to ride it, I was forced to swim towards it as fast as I could, so as not to get caught in its dangerous break. Once I reached the top of that wave, which was shockingly high, I could see an even larger wave coming, it was already well over eight meters tall, and still growing fast. I swam towards this truly giant wave as quickly as I could, there was no way to get away from it as it was sucking me towards it as it was building its height. I made my way over it just as it was beginning to fall, I am not sure how high it was exactly, I would guess ten meters or so, I remember looking over at the people on the beach, as I crested it, I was both a long ways from them, and towering over them, as they scattered up the beach, and away from the water. Luckily, I made it over the wave before it broke, because when the enormous wave did fall, it fell right over top of the beach, destroying quite a few things, including some holiday houses, the retreating wave then brought all sorts of things back into the water with it, chairs, tables, doors, glass, dogs and even some other people. The next thing I knew I was being sucked a good kilometer or so, at a very high speed out into the open ocean. It took me an hour or so of hard swimming to finally make it back to the beach. Of course Superman would have just started flying and saved everyone, but for me, my own survival was barely possible.

I have saved four people’s lives, two people were drowning once in Goa, and I swam out with a large log for all of us to grab onto and swim back to shore. One time when I was in Thailand, a lady that could not swim fell into a river in Bangkok, I grabbed her hand as she was going under the water to pull her up. Another time in Indonesia, a group of people were trying to kill my rickshaw driver, something about him picking me up on their turf. One of them smashed a large brick into his head, and I stood up to them all. They decided not to fight us both, my driver was bleeding quite a bit from his head, but he survived because of me. I really am quite proud of actually saving some lives, Superman would have done the same, but of course for each one I saved, he saved a billion.

Although I have a lot of stories about things I have done, I look back and notice a pattern of me putting myself in harms way, in hindsight it seems a little bit stupid,  and when I really think about it, I am a little surprised that I am still alive. I tried hard to do as much as I could, but now as I am nearing forty, my body is in its decline, and my risk taking days have ended, I realize, for all my efforts, not for a moment, did I ever come close to being Superman.

Five For Fighting (John OndrasikOndrasik) Superman – It’s Not Easy Lyrics

I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
I’m just out to find
The better part of me

I’m more than a bird…i’m more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It’s not easy to be me

Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I’ll never see

It may sound absurd…but don’t be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed…but won’t you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
It’s not easy to be me

Up, up and away…away from me
It’s all right…you can all sleep sound tonight
I’m not crazy…or anything…

I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
Men weren’t meant to ride
With clouds between their knees

I’m only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
Inside of me
Inside me
Yeah, inside me
Inside of me

I’m only a man
In a funny red sheet
I’m only a man
Looking for a dream

I’m only a man
In a funny red sheet
And it’s not easy, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm…

Its not easy to be me

Sometimes, Some Things Can Not Be Fixed

A few years ago, as the Cold Play song, “Fix You” was playing away on my car radio, I said to my Girlfriend at the time, who did not like Cold Play very much, “How could anyone not like Cold Play? I mean just listen to them, that is music that really moves me for some reason or another, and I like it.”

She laughed a little, giving me the idea she did not share my love for the song.

I asked her “How could you not like this song, what is it about this beautiful song that bothers you?”

My girlfriend answered the question immediately, “Because the song makes it seem like you can just go around “Fixing” everything. Sometimes, some things can not be fixed. ”

There was some definite truth to what she had said. No one can fix everything, some things, yes, but not everything. Sometimes the attempted fix just makes matters worse. Sometimes it is just best to give up on a fix, and learn to live with the problem.

I found the song on YouTube, so I have pasted it below for you to listen to. In the defense of Cold Play, the exact lyrics state “I will try to fix you”, so they did not say they could go around fixing everything, but the thought that not everything can be fixed was still very interesting.

Rather than focusing on the problem, sometimes it is best to just give up hope on trying to fix it, and get on with your life as best you can, for the sake of happiness. A happy song can help, and one of the happiest songs I have heard in recent years has got to be Israel Kamakawiwo’ole’s version of Somewhere over the Rainbow, when I hear it, often my worries seem to fade a little bit.

Enjoy!

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