The Joker Yoda Shirt

Yoda Joker Shirt

Serious Why So ? Click Image

There I was, minding my own business, casually wandering around the jungles of Borneo, when all of a sudden this funny looking orangutan jumps out of the bush wearing a potato sack, and starts talking to me.

“Know how I got these scars want to, hmmm? Drinker, my father was, one night, crazier than usual, he is. Hmmm. To defend herself mommy gets lightsaber. He likes not that. Not one bit. So to her, with me watching, he takes lightsaber, laughing while he does, to me turns and he says. Yes, hmmm. “Serious why so Yoda?” My mouth he sticks the saber in. Yeesssssss. “Put a smile on that face, let us!” And…Serious why so?”

“So me ask you now, since here you are, ever dance with a wookie in the pale moon light did you, hmm?”

WTF?! I turned and ran.

Yoda Joker Shirt

Surfer Trooper Shirt

Surfer Storm Trooper Star Wars Shirt

Surfer Trooper Shirt – Click Image

I have occasionally struggled with the meaning of my life, but sometimes it’s meaning is clear.

I was grown in a lab as my brothers before me, and my life’s ambitions were laid out for me as a child. I would serve my master, and fight for my brothers.

At times I wonder why I am so willing to kill and die for the needs of my master, but I’ve never had any desire to rebel from him, my brothers serve him, and that is good enough for me. Though my masters have change over time, and my friends have become enemies, it is all right, this is my life, and this is how I live it.

When I have some time away from the demands of constant war, I take my surfboard and go enjoy riding the waves. I can understand the waves, they served the earth as I do my masters, we have a connection that is as deep as my soul.

Surfer Trooper T-Shirt

When Your Cat Is More Thug Than You

This just needs to be shared.

Danger Panda Shirt

Dangerous Panda Tee

Danger Panda T-Shirt – Click Image

Danger Panda was arrested nearly a decade ago as he was found with his friends robbing, and destroying a local drug store. During the arrest his friends were killed for attacking the police. One of the arresting officers mistook Danger Panda for a victim in the robbery, and as he tried to offer him help, Danger Panda murdered him.

Danger Panda was a psychotic, drug-ridden, and all together bad teenage Panda. He was thrown in a dark hole, tried, and sentenced to execution by lethal injection. He was injected with a substance and told it would be fatal. Instead of dying, however, he woke up in a white jail cell, with an intelligence officer, who informs him that an alternate to execution exists: he can receive covert government training as an assassin. He accepted the bid, was rigorously trained, and returned to society as a seemingly normal and gentle civilian. He had evolved from simply being a bad panda, into a bad ass panda.

Danger Panda Shirt

The Fish In The Sea

On a mostly unremarkable morning a few years back, as I was walking from my house down my street, there was a chance meeting which would change my life for many years to come.

The sun was shining brightly that day, it’s light was painful on my halve awaken eyes, so I gazed mostly downwards to escape the glare. As I walked along, focused on the concrete just ahead of me, I almost missed her standing there on the side of the road. She was looking at me, openly staring at me with her big beautiful golden brown eyes. I looked directly back at her and she didn’t look away, in fact for a moment I though she was going to take a step towards me, but she didn’t. I smiled and passed her by without a word.

As the day went by, I wished I had said something. The cool guys in movies always had the perfect things to say, and they said them without any delay, they controlled every situation, and always got the outcomes they desired. I wished I could be cool like that, I wished I could be that guy, but I am not that guy. I am me. If I saw her again, the next time I would say Hello.

Several days passed before I would see her again. She was standing almost at the same place I had seen her before, in front of a home quite similar to my own. I wondered if she lived there, if she lived with anyone, and mostly if she already had someone to love.

“Good Morning” I said to her, and that is how it all started. It may not have been the words of a cool guy in a movie, but that is how it started, those words are what led into these last few years of companionship, daily physical contact, happiness, contentment and love.

After some time, she moved in with me, I cared for her, we sat together during the day, and slept together at night, things were very good. Until one day it was not good anymore.

One day I came home to an empty house, which happens from time to time, and I called her. Normally my calls were always answered, I would find out where she was, and she would return to me soon after, but on this day for the first time in our many years together, after my many repeated calls, there was still no response. I could imagine no positive reason for her not responding. What would keep her from me? I mean she must want to be with me just as much as I want to be with her, so what on earth could be stopping her. I was worried she might not be able to get to me for some reason, possibly she was injured and suffering, or maybe even dead. I did not hear from her for three days, I did not sleep well, and was constantly depressed. I asked around if anyone had seen her, and they had not.

On the fourth day since here disappearance,  I was walking down my same road again. Though the sun was not bright that day, depression was causing me to look down at the concrete as I walked, part way down the road, I heard a door open, I looked, and to my horror she stepped out. I knew this house, and it’s owner. This house was nicer than my own. The man who lived here owned a busy seafood restaurant in the neighborhood. She did not see me, and as my heart broke, I guess it left a lump in my throat, I was too choked up and overwhelmed to speak.

I imagined her pleasure at eating his seafood, happily gobbling down fish of various sorts with him watching her as she purred. How could I compete with him, in her materialistic eyes, what he had to offer would have been vastly superior to the simple dry cat food I fed her. I am sure after a good meal, she would lay out before him, as she did for me daily over these last few years.

The idea that my love could be taken away from me by this fish peddler, did not make me angry at the man, but disgusted at just how materialistic my cat was, in fact it seems that all this time she had been with me, pretending to love me, she was really just biding her time with me as she waited to trade up to someone that would give her more. This poor man would probably lose her in the future as someone with offered her fresher fish, or ultimately a man who possessed live fish might be hypnotized by her gaze, and then maybe she could live life like the princess she feels she is.

But to me she was no longer of any value, a cat selling her affection for fish, is really just nothing but a whore.

Cat Whore

 

After some time passed, I learned to forgive her, and we made friends again. Even though she still sleeps at his place, and eats his fish, once he is not around, she comes over to my place and lays down for me once again. I have come to the understanding, that although she wants the material things that man offers, she still can not resist my love. It is good for me this way, now I can make other cat friends, or maybe even get a new house cat of my own.

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